Unconditional hospitality
Prophetic generosity and being in the service of others
On the very first day that my husband and I moved to an entirely new city where we knew no one, through the barakah of the masjid, we were invited to eat at a family’s home. Through the barakah of that family’s hospitality to a pair of total strangers, I forged a close friendship with one of them.
On the very last day before moving out of what was once an entirely new city, through the barakah of the masjid, we once again were invited to eat, this time by a different family. Through the barakah of that family’s hospitality we were able to host them at our house a year later, in our new hometown.
When we found ourselves in our new, empty flat with nothing to sleep on (note to self: check the self-storage closing hours next time), it was through the barakah of the masjid that we reached out to the Imam who then lent us a mattress.
Through the barakah of the masjid we had a place to stay when we missed our ferry on a remote island in the Caribbean. Through the masaajid needs are met, affairs are sorted, and avenues are opened for connections that are formed purely for the sake of Allah. These connections are grounded in sincerity, humbleness, and love for the sake of Allah, resulting in sincere advice and heartfelt counsel, lifelong friends and impactful conversations.
“Allāh will be at the assistance of His slave so long as such a person is at the assistance of his brother.” [excerpt, Sunan Ibn Majah]
Beyond a few short-lived moments of self-satisfaction, what higher motive underpins unreserved hospitality? Why do people open up their homes so freely and sincerely to people whose names they don’t even know, but all they know is that they are a Muslim (or simply a person) in need? What motive did the Imam from Oxford have when he invited us for tea at his house after Isha even though his eyes were bloodshot with exhaustion? What reason underpinned a family (who we had only met once before) cooking us up lunch on the same day that they, along with their five children, were leaving for a weekend stay? I don’t know about you but the day I’m due to go somewhere I'm caught up in a flurry of lists and last minute to-do’s. The last thing on my mind would be hosting people I barely know.
“Those who show mercy will be shown mercy by the Most Merciful. Have mercy on those in the Earth and those in the Heavens will have mercy on you.” [Tirmidhi]
I grew up watching my mum power through cook-athons, determined to feed a passing jamaat (a group of travellers moving between mosques spreading the knowledge of deen). She picked up those traits of efficiency and generosity from her mum - my dear nanima spent her entire life in the service of others even though she had five children and not a whole lot of money. My mother-in-law tells of her youth spent whipping up a dinner spread at a moments notice with five boys running riot across her path. Why? To feed scholars, guests, travellers, neighbours - anyone in need. These women understood that to have the shadow of guests fall upon your doorstep is an honour; it is an opening of Allah’s mercy, a source of barakah in the home, an invitation of His divine assistance.
“The most beloved of people to Allah is he who is most beneficial to people.” [excerpt, Tabarani]
Unconditional hospitality coupled with sincerity is the hallmark of a Muslim. Yet it is dying out. The individualistic culture rampant today shifts the focus onto the self, fuelling self-centredness instead of selflessness. We only want to host the guests that we like and on our terms. Think perfectly planned tea parties, viral grazing platters, aesthetic dinner parties with matching silverware and decor worthy of being pinned on Pinterest. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with these orchestrated invitations but hospitality in its entirety includes opening our doors freely to whoever walks by whether or not we have something to talk about with them, whether or not we have time to plan a three-course menu, and even if it includes a posse of young kids who will somehow end up with sticky jam fingers awfully close to the brand new sofa even though you haven’t even served them any sticky, jammy snacks.
True hospitality goes hand and in hand with sacrifice; it entails overcoming the egoistical desire to save ones time and energy for better pursuits, to save on groceries and heating bills, to keep the house prim and proper with no trace of jammy fingerprints. I’m blessed to have witnessed my dad, uncles and aunt push aside any reservations in their hearts and throw open their doors to all and sundry. Growing up I took it for granted, oblivious to the generosity and forgiveness it requires. Only now in adulthood am I beginning to understand the strength of their characters. They were motivated by love of Allah - loving one another for the sake of Allah, loving all that He loves, loving emulating the Messenger (peace be upon him), and loving the opportunity of reward.
My nanima (may Allah have mercy on her beautiful soul) used to say, “Ibaadat se Jannat milti hai aur khidmat se Khuda milta hai.” Through worship you attain Jannah; through service you attain Allah Himself.
May the most generous one in the heavens allow us to amplify His attribute on the earth, aameen.